Tickling Your Funny Bone – PG Jokes

After a night of drink, drugs, and debauchery, John awoke to find himself in bed next to a really ugly woman.  That’s when he realised he’d made it home safely.

 

Seven wheelchair athletes were banned from the Para-Olympics because they tested positive for WD40.

 

A teenaged boy asked his grandmother if she’d seen his pills, which were in a container labelled ‘LSD’.

His grandmother screamed, “To Hell with the pills … did you see those dragons in the kitchen?”

 

A man accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles and told his friend he was afraid that his next bowel-movement could spell disaster.

 

A man woke up very late one morning with a sense that something was wrong.  When he went downstairs he found his wife face-down on the kitchen floor, not breathing. He panicked, not knowing what to do. Then he remembered McDonalds now serves breakfast all day long.

 

A wife discovered her husband was having an affair, so she packed his bags and told him to leave. As he walked out the door, she screamed, “I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!”

Her husband replied, “Oh, so now you want me to stay!”

 

A man bought his wife a hamster-skin coat. She wore it when they went to the fair, and it took him 3-hours to get her off the Ferris Wheel.